Pardon me for saying so, but I fawkin' ADORE Jake Brahm. Anybody who can get the nefarious feds' panties in a tidy little bunch is someone for whom I'll buy a glass of wine, ANYTIME. Especially in this era of War on Nouns. It's too bad that his little prank on 4Chan (which is a seething hotbed of fucktards, anyway) might get him a fine of $250,000 and major time in Butt Fuck Central, but I'll be glad to periodically smuggle hashish and butter knives in to him. I'm pretty sure that the FBI (Clusterfuck, Inc.) is wanked because Jake dared to screw with—Oh, Sweet Weeping Jesus!—FOOTBALL! (Personally, I think the New York Jets should
be bombed out of existence, but that's just me.) In any event, allow me to offer props and drooling kudos to Jake J. Brahm, along with the suggestion that he use a proxy next time.
Incidentally, I've posted this here—relying on my feloniously fascistic power as this community's mod—to provide an example of trolling at its very finest. Sit, grasshopper, and learn the elegance of trolling at its best. Young Master Jake has much to teach us all.
Oh, and by the by, why has no one adopted the charming and lovely dumpsterdiva
? Must I violate the court order and take her under my sometimes-loving, sometimes-drunken wing? How could her touching offer of devotion go so cruelly unanswered? Please, please, don't force me to violate federal law and help her prowl through refuse; I don't look nearly as cute in prison fatigues, and my butt is too skinny for anal penetration in the showers. Adopt dumpsterdiva